Ep. #48 – What Self-Discipline ISN’T About
“Happiness is dependent on self-discipline. We are the biggest obstacles to our own happiness. It is much easier to do battle with society and with others than to fight our own nature.”
– Dennis Prager – American Talk Show host.
In This Episode
You’re going to learn how to discover true and lasting self-discipline by figuring out what it isn’t about… Once you do that, you’ll have a narrowed laser focus on what you need to do to become the self-disciplined superhero you long to be.
What Do You Feel About Self Discipline
Do you lack self-discipline because you LACK any of the following?
- Organizational Skills? If only you had those… Maybe you’ve tried to learn them.
- Management Skills? Time management? Task Management? If only you had another better system, would you conquer self-discipline?
- Is it because you’re lazy?
- Can’t make a solid decision?
How many of the items listed did you identify with? Do you feel, if you could conquer them, you’d finally find self-discipline? The truth is, none of these are CAUSES of your lack of self-discipline, but actually the effect of it. If you go back to Episode 39, you’ll find learn about why we become frustrated and eventually give up on our goals, when we try to change the effect rather than the cause. You can listen to that at PDesmondAdams.com/039
The way you change something within you is to find the cause of the symptoms and change that. Until you can do this, you’re going to be chasing your tail and never getting any permanent results.
To Understand The Cause You Must First Know What ISN’T a Cause
A lack of self-discipline isn’t something you’re born with. It’s not something you can say is just part of your nature. In fact, when we say things like “well, that’s just they way I am, I’ve always been that way” we disempower ourselves from experiencing real change.
A lack of self-discipline isn’t about having willpower to overcome your resistance to action. It’s not a matter of building up willpower.
What it IS:
- Self-Discipline is something YOU can learn.
- Self-Discipline is about becoming aware of your SUBCONSCIOUS resistance to taking action. This isn’t about will-power… in fact, when you discover the subconscious resistance, it almost seems effortless to change it. ALMOST…
It takes consciously changing your subconscious elements.
We’ve Been Conditioned to Depend on Someone Else for Discipline
Our entire lives we’ve most-likely had someone else providing us with discipline.
As kids, our parents are the disciplinarians. Don’t do what they want you to do and a good parent is going to make you suffer a consequence of your inaction.
As a student, you’re in the same boat, whether it’s Elementary, secondary or even into college, if we don’t do what we’re supposed to do, we have someone else who will correct us and impose a consequence.
As employees, most are working for a boss who will do the same thing. You wouldn’t tell you boss, “I’m not going to do what you need me to do, because today I kind of want to do something else.”
But we do deal with it when it comes to our physical well-being…. and that’s why most people in the Western world, and especially the United States, are overweight and unhealthy. As entrepreneurs we are suddenly thrust into a world where we need to find self-discipline or fail, or at the very best flounder and never achieve the best we can.
Our entire lives, someone else has been flexing the discipline muscle and ours have been a flabby appendage we never look at for more than a fleeting moment. Like a flabby belly… we cover it up and move on.
Our Greatest Hurdles to Self-Discipline Lie In a Few Specific Fears
All those effects I mentioned earlier, are the effect and it’s our fears which are the causes. These are subconscious fears which can be incredibly subtle and undetectable. This is why we tend to see the symptom as the culprit. But once you know what to look for, what fears you need to identify, you’ll be able to overcome them.
So, ask yourself, which of these fears are affecting you… take some time to examine them each and look at which fears may be keeping you from finding self-discipline.
I’m currently working on a in-depth training program which will help you discover what specific fears you’re dealing with and how to overcome them. It’s very detailed and I’m still working on it, but if you’d like to know more about it when it comes out, sign up below and I’ll make sure you know as soon as it’s done.
So which of these fears are affecting you?
- Fear of Failure? We fear it because we’ve allowed past failures become our identity
- Fear of Success? We’re sometimes critical of people who are successful. We’ve been trained to think they’re greedy or selfish.
- Fear of Rejection? This is about being a people pleaser. We set aside what we think is best in favor of what others think is better… because we don’t want to be rejected by them. How many sit and watch TV night after night to appease a family member who wants that for us?
- Fear of Mediocrity? This is based in perfectionism. We’re afraid, if we take action now, we won’t be able to do more than a mediocre job. That’s what is at the core of this fear.
- Fear of Risks? Taking risks is about venturing into uncharted territory. We want to stay in the familiar waters around us. We don’t want to risk losing what we’re most comfortable with.
Again, I’m just barely scratching the surface on these fears…. These go much deeper and on a much more personal level, but you get the idea. I also am not going into any of the action steps we can take to overcome these fears or reprogram our subconscious mind to beat them. This is a VERY comprehensive process and one I plan on helping you with.
Join Our Community
If you’re like me, you sometimes find yourself surrounded by people who don’t really have the passion you have, to be the best you can be. The odds of your neighbors being like that is pretty low, your co-workers probably don’t think like you, even your family may not share your passion. But what if there was a group of people who did want to strive to be the best they can be. What if you could find a community like that. A group of people you can share ideas with and encourage, while being encouraged yourself? Come on over and join our Facebook page. We can share and talk and encourage each other… Facebook.com/PDesmondAdams