Follow me for a minute…
- Every once in a while, you may look at someone else and think “wow, they are messed up.”
- Every once in a while, someone may look at you and think “Wow, they are messed up.”
- Every once in a while, someone may look at that person and think “Wow, they are messed up.
Every single person can have someone else look at them and think “Wow, they are messed up.”
Do you think, if you followed this along for 10, 20, 100 or 1000 levels or more, you’d eventually get to someone who just has it all figured out and they’re doing fantastic?
Following this path, do you think this is a progression UPWARD in character?
Is this is character pyramid and there’s one person at the very top who has it all figured out and is beyond the judgement of others?
No. you’re right. The person we reach after following this path for 1,000 occurrences probably has 10 people who could look at certain areas of their life and think “Wow, they are messed up.”
In fact, here’s what we’d find out.
Some of those people who are looking judgmentally at that 1,000th person were ones someone looked down at 300 people ago, or 250 people ago.
The truth is, it’s all a giant CIRCLE of judgement.
After we’re gone through 1,000 iterations of judgement, we’re guaranteed to have a good number of the people who were judged earlier, back in the judgement game again.
It’s almost like a never ending game of leap frog. Once someone jumps over you, it’s time to get back in line waiting for your next turn to jump over someone else… and then have someone jump over you.
It’s the Judgement Circle, inside of which we all get trapped.
A perpetual game of judgement.
There’s only one escape route… and that’s to refuse to get back in line once someone has jumped over (or judged) you. Just don’t get back in line waiting to jump over (or judge) someone else.
When we jump out of the chain, we set ourselves apart from that game.
BE CAREFUL! – This is a prime place to start judging in another way. “Those fools and all their judgement games.” Ah hah! See, there you area again, back in the game yourself.
We won’t completely eliminate the judgement others have on us, but we will slow it down dramatically.
Continue on this path and I promise, you’ll see an EXPONENTIAL DECREASE in the judgement you experience in your life.
By the very nature of things, you’ll find you change who you spend time with in life and you will decrease the power of those who are still in the chain.
Remember what I always say: Change the world around you by changing the world within you.
It will be like avoid your greatest food temptation. Maybe it’s a the perfect piece of chocolate or a beautiful basket of fried onion rings (I’m more of a crunchy salty person when it comes to temptation).
The less you taste of it, the less your craving for it becomes. The more you see the benefits of avoiding it, the greater your ability to resist it.
Call to Action
Start this with baby steps, as I always say.
Today, when you are tempted to even THINK judgementally towards someone, don’t do it.
Call yourself out and say, even out loud, if you can “I don’t know that persons situation. I don’t know what brought them here. I know they have strengths where I have weaknesses. I will allow them to be them.”
Something along those lines to remind yourself, you may be able to jump over them (or judge them) in this area, but further down the chain, in another area, they’re going to be able to jump over you.
Just one time… and then remember it. Tomorrow try to do it two times you’re tempted. Or even today.
Just work at it, consciously avoiding the opportunity to jump into The Judgement Circle.
Oh, yes, you’re right… I mess this up more times than I care to think. But, I consciously work to avoid the circle. That’s what I’m hoping you’ll do as well.
We’re all in this together, all “failures” in some area of life, working towards success in others. Continuously improving and celebrating together.