I’m sure you’ve had one of those situations in your life where there’s something incredibly irritating to you. I have…
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine came to me and said “Man, I think I’m just not going to hang out with them anymore. I’m just going to do everything I can to avoid them.”
But is that best?
CAUTION: Listen, what I’m talking about in this episode is an annoying relationship, not a dangerous one. Remember, if you’re in any sort of danger, you must seek safety. Don’t justify endangering yourself or your children in an effort to “fix someone.” Let a professional do that while you’re secluded in safety.
So, assuming we’re talking about a non-threatening situation… let’s continue.
I hear so many people in the personal development world saying “choose who you surround yourself with. You don’t need to be around people who you don’t want to be around.”
But… I’m not sure that’s a response driven by love. Well, it’s love, but love of self or selfish interests.
I share this all the time… we will find peace in our lives when we are driven by love.
So how do we LOVE those who annoy us or those we don’t feel compatible with? Maybe even our enemies… What’s it mean to Love our Enemies?
First… Ask yourself if the your negative impression of the other person comes from your own animosity.
Maybe It’s Just You
One way to do this is to ask others in your social circle if they see the same issues with the other person. If they don’t… you probably need to look inward even more than you thought.
We all… in EVERY situation need to look at what we can improve internally… but some of these situations may require even more internal review.
Pushing Those We Don’t Like Away Is the Cause… not the Solution.
One of our deepest core desires is to feel valued and valuable. When someone becomes difficult to deal with it’s often because they don’t feel valued.
When we push them away, we’re only compounding the situation.
Yes, it’s them who caused the issue but
Create a Security and Negativity Disappears.
It’s insecurity that causes people to react in a negative way to others. Insecurity…
Isolation is not a solution to the problem, it’s simply a removal of it.
Avoiding difficult people, even if it’s just for a short time, is really the act of avoiding an opportunity to improve ourselves.
We all want to survive. Attacking those who threaten us is simply a way for us to attempt survival.
We should ask… what is the threat to this person and why?
Avoiding Resistance Perpetuates Weakness
Resistance makes us stronger. Just like in a gym, it’s when you face resistance that your muscles are strengthened.
It’s when we face relationship resistance that our ability to have strong relationships is strengthened.
A LOT of people who suggest avoiding those we don’t like are also people who may have external happiness or external signs of happiness, but if you ask them, they don’t feel that internal… that deep happiness.
Those You Spot VS Those Who Spot For You
We have to realize the people we hang out with aren’t always our support.. sometimes we’re their support.
Know who you’re spotting for and who you need to spot for you.
Listen, if you don’t want to spot for them, why does someone else, stronger than you, want to spot for you. Maybe you’re their annoying person?
When we realize we’re all connected as one, we understand this doesn’t benefit society as a whole. It’s not improving anything.
Our mission is to love… that’s it. Love.